Looks like I’ve been here before in this on again, off again battle.

Since my last post, more than a year ago, I’ve continued to make some attempt at the keto lifestyle. However, I’d last a couple weeks (and sometimes only a couple days) before I’d lose my resolve. There were a variety of reasons, I suppose. Rebellion: why do I have to fight this battle? Laziness: I don’t feel like cooking for the week. Comfort eating: Eating this macaroni and cheese will make me forget my lonely widow existence.

In 2016, I was flying high. I had successfully lost 59 pounds in six months on the keto plan, and I was looking forward to losing more. I had a thriving website of keto recipes and tips. I was living the keto lifestyle. After years of trial and error, yoyo dieting, and losing and gaining weight,  I knew keto was exactly the right way of eating for me! My 60th birthday was approaching, and I wanted to lose another 60 by then. It was a great goal. Finally conquering a life-long battle and meeting my golden years ahead in much better shape than I had been in years.

That goal lost its momentum that fall when my husband Rick was diagnosed with lung cancer. I stopped focusing on myself and my goals. My only thoughts were of him. In the 10 months I cared for him, I dabbled at eating right, but my heart wasn’t in it. When he wanted an ice cream cone at 10 pm, I was hard-pressed to ignore the desire to join him… and eventually, I gave up.

Rick encouraged me to follow through with the party he had planned for my big 6-0. I’m glad I did, because I have fantastic memories of our time together with family and friends that evening. But the big “perfect weight” goal didn’t happen that birthday.

After his death in 2017, I sought a grief therapist. She helped me cope with the grief and remake my life. Now, nearly three years later, she’s still helping me – this time as a life coach. She’s helping me learn how to love myself as I am, cope with my addictive nature, and attain my goals.

So here I am…

The good news. I haven’t gained it all back – and that is somewhat of a miracle. Starting keto, and doing lazy keto, has at least contributed to helping me maintain the weight loss for the past three years, and that’s a great place to begin. So begin I did. Last week, I started back on keto. It’s a bit more difficult without my husband. He was not only my biggest encourager, he was also my personal chef! He loved to cook. I don’t. His help with my weekend meal plan was tremendous – grilling chicken and veggies, making low-carb meatloaf, stuffed peppers, fat-head pizzas. So, now I’m on my own in the kitchen, but I’ve got this!

I’ve come up with an idea to get me past that first week or two when I’m still tempted to return to the carb-laden food. I know for a fact that a month into the plan, I don’t even look at the wrong foods. I’ve been there. A month into eating low carb, I’m in ketosis, and my mind is solidly focused so much so that I’m not even tempted by sweets or snacks.

So – I’m setting out on my new goal: one year of keto. That’s it. One year of staying under 25 grams of carbs a day. One year of pre-planning my week and getting foods ready so I have no dinner decisions to make after a hard day at work. One year of using all the knowledge and support that helped me lose 59 pounds five years ago. I have no specific weight-loss goal. Wherever I am after a year, that’s where I am. However much I weigh, it will be less that what I weigh now. I will be healthier, carb-free, and in better physical shape, because that’s what one year of keto does.

For one year, I will tap into all my keto knowledge, support, and inspiration – reading Reddit posts, finding delicious new keto recipes, weighing in weekly, looking at other successful ketoers and their before and after photos. For one year, I will journal through my feelings, not attempt to eat them away in denial. For one year, I will blog my journey, and I will update my healthyketo.com site with more delicious keto recipes.

For one year, I will invest in myself.

Here goes. Wish me well! (I didn’t say “luck,” because luck has nothing to do with this.)

This morning I start day 9 of keto; 356 days to go.